Strange-er

He walked in with all the confidence of a dandy, pausing every now and then to savor the applause that only he could hear.

“Do you want something?”

“Yyeess.” He ran his fingers over the counter as he spoke; more interested in the dust under his nails than the glowering faces rapidly running out of patience. He reached under the bar, giving everyone a fair view of his back as he rummaged around, popping up with one of the more expensive bottles.

“Hey! That’s-.”

But the cork was already off. He smelled it, took a sip, and casually threw it over his shoulder, wearing that same distant smile the whole time.

“Do you have any idea how hard it was to get that?”

“Clearly not hard enough.”

“Oh relax,” he said after another dramatic pause. “I’ll pay for it.”

“You don’t even know how much it costs.”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“Why not?

“Because I’ll pay for it,” as he ducked back under the counter. “I’ll pay for all of it.”

“Mister-”

“Is that any way to address your new owner?”

“What?”

“I know,” he said, bouncing back up. “Puts a whole new spin on things, doesn’t it?” He had another bottle.

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